The Date Clause
by Like A Dove
Summary: Zuko and Katara are forced to go on a date together. Epic confessions, drunkenness, sneaking around, and attempted dirty talk ensue. Who knew defying Uncle Iroh and his stupid matchmaker friend could be so much fun?
1. Part 1

**A/N: Okay, this is the first Zutara story I've written to be amusing. Hopefully I achieved that. I took a different approach to Zuko and Katara's characterization in this fic, mostly because I got tired of reading stories where they barely keep in touch after the war is over, or when they only communicate through letters for years before they randomly meet up later. So, I guess I wanted to break the mold and make them best friends in this story, only because I refuse to believe that after all the shit that went down in the series finale, that they wouldn't have been extremely close. Anyway.**

**This story is rated M for stoned!Zuko/Katara, drunk!Zuko/Katara, language, and eventual sexytimes. You have been warned.**

**Also, pretty sure this will be in three parts. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Lady Katara, while I do understand your position concerning Fire Nation politics, and the fact that you are a well respected individual amongst its citizens, I'm afraid I cannot—"

The servant was a short and squat man with uneven sideburns and a squeaky voice. He was also brand spankin' new at his job, which was why Katara did feel slightly guilty when she stepped around him and continued down the hallway to the throne room.

"Lady Katara— Please! _Lady Katara—_!"

But she had already thrown open the heavy doors to the throne room and was greeted with eleven heads turning in her direction.

Ahh, she had interrupted a meeting. She _loved _interrupting meetings. She scanned every face until she found the one that meant the most to her. "Hello Zuko."

There were mutterings amongst the ten other men in the room. _Did she really just call the Fire Lord by his first name? She obviously has no manners. But don't you know, she's that Waterbending woman from the Southern Water Tribe, the one that taught the Avatar. But isn't she _dating_ the Avatar? No, you imbecile, they parted ways romantically quite some time ago, don't you _read_? Well excuse me for paying more attention to the well being of my own country and not who the illustrious Avatar is dating, and it's not like she's of any importance to _us _anyway_. _If you actually paid attention you would realize that she is of __**every **__importance to the well being of this country you daft—_

Zuko scooted over to make room for her and gave her a curt nod when she sat down. "Katara," he acknowledged. "You're late."

"Or perhaps you started early?" she countered, taking advantage of everyone else's moment of distraction to pull her hair back so it wouldn't get in her face. She pretended not to notice Zuko's gaze sweeping over her hair, face, and then figure.

A moment later he cleared his throat and shook his head slightly as if to clear his thoughts. "Alright gentlemen and Katara, these are the new trade routes we're thinking of establishing with the Earth Kingdom…"

* * *

At nineteen years old, Katara had set herself up a System. In the springtime she would travel with Aang and Toph, mostly around the Earth Kingdom, and sometimes to the Northern Water Tribe. The Avatar's Peace was unsurprisingly difficult to maintain, since there were three different nations who wanted things done their way. Katara and Toph had had to help Aang master another element: the element of smooth talking. And he was surprisingly good at it.

She spent the summers at home in the Southern Water Tribe. Although it was becoming more and more trying to do so. Hakoda was convinced that she should have been married a couple of years ago. This only irritated her. She was _not _becoming an old spinster at nineteen years old for Spirit's sake.

Usually autumns were spent on Kyoshi Island, visiting Suki and the rest of the Kyoshi Warriors. Katara was becoming quite handy with those fan…things. Although she still preferred waterbending for obvious reasons.

Winters were spent in the Fire Nation, mostly because it was warm. But also because Zuko not only wanted, but _appreciated _her help. Sometimes she helped him with paperwork, other times with straightening up the palace. In the past year or so Zuko had even started asking her to sit in on meetings and give her opinion. He claimed that an outsider's view on things was probably the wakeup call the older advisors needed. But in all honestly, Katara was pretty sure she just made him less nervous. Winters weren't exactly the longest season, but Katara still found herself spending the longest periods of time there. She was beginning to think it was because Zuko was perhaps her only friend who never asked her what she was going to do with the rest of her life. He didn't even ask her what she was doing _now._

The System was infallible. Katara always stuck to the System.

Madame Meishuo was a plump, loud, and very opinionated woman. She was considered the finest matchmaker in both the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom. She was also Iroh's new favorite person.

"General Iroh, how good it was for you to invite me here!" she exclaimed as soon as she sat down for afternoon tea with him. Iroh, who also spent his winters in the Fire Nation, had called her in to speak with him on "very important matters". She had her suspicions, but she also knew it was best to be polite to a pending customer. Especially when said pending customer was uncle to the Fire Lord.

"Madame Meishuo, it is very good to see you. Would you care for a cup of tea? It is made with ginseng and is supposed to energize the body and soul."

Madame Meishuo smiled and nodded. As soon as her tea cup was full she picked it up and took a few sips, all the while peering at Iroh over the rim to see if he was going to say anything else. After a full two minutes of silence, she sighed and put her cup back down.

"Iroh, we've known each other for some time, and I think it's safe to say that you know me fairly well. Which means you know that I don't like to dilly dally around when I have things to do. So why don't you explain to me why, exactly, I'm here?"

Iroh beamed at her. Always the professional, she had cut directly to the chase. This was good. He would need her professional opinions and ideas if this little plan of his was ever going to work.

Placing his cup back down next to hers, he turned slightly in his chair and gestured to another couple having lunch in the courtyard some ways off. "I have a proposition for you, Madame Meishuo. I'm sure you're aware of my nephew's recent change in relationship status?"

Madame Meishuo followed Iroh's gaze, and a thoughtful look came over her plump face. "I heard he and the Lady Mai broke off their engagement? Must have been hard for him. He's twenty one now, the people expect him to marry soon."

Iroh nodded, but offered nothing more. This was _the_ Madame Meishuo, and she wouldn't be the greatest matchmaker in the world if she had a slow sense of perception.

"Who is he eating with though? She's very pretty—Wait! Is that Lady Katara of the Southern Water Tribe? I had forgotten that they were friends. Well isn't that nice." She turned immediately back to Iroh. "Why am I here, again?" Once again, she had her suspicions, but she wanted to hear them come straight from Iroh's mouth.

But Iroh continued to be silent; instead he continued watching Zuko and Katara eat their lunch. Finally, after some huffing, Madame Meishuo settled in to watch them too.

Katara was making her soup and noodles hover and dance over her bowl through her bending. Zuko watched with amusement, and after a beat he reached out and snatched up a noodle from the swirling orb and plopped it into his mouth with a smirk.

"Hey!" Katara retaliated by grabbing one of his sticky rice balls and shoving it into her mouth. Then they both began digging into the other's food.

"How mature of them," Madame Meishuo observed with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't understand," Iroh said softly. "When the Fire Lord is around Katara, he gets to act like the kid he never got to be. They have fun together and she brings him peace."

The matchmaker across from him merrily nodded. "But what about her? What does he give her?"

"Zuko does not judge her, but rather chooses to understand her. He accepts her for who she is and does not ask any more from her then she can give."

Madame Meishuo blinked before clearing her throat. "So, what I'm gathering is that you feel as if they'd make a decent match. Alright, I agree with you. Love is friendship on fire and all that. But they _aren't _together." She paused, tapping her chin as she thought. "Would you say there's sexual attraction?"

At this, Iroh snorted.

Madame Meishuo grinned. "So they're best friends, they're sexually attracted to each other, they understand each other. But they _aren't _together. We have established, however, that they should be." She propped her elbows on the table and leaned forward. "Listen Iroh, if these two are going to get a grip and get it together, it has to happen _naturally_. You just give them a teensy weensy little push in the right direction. Preferably a push that happens under pre determined romantic situations. They need to go on a date, just one date, with each other."

Iroh sighed, he was afraid she's come to this conclusion. "But you see Madame Meishuo, they won't agree—"

She held up a finger, silencing him. "Yes, yes, I know." She pulled out a small box from her traveling bag and opened it, revealing a handful of what looked like smoking herbs nestled inside. "First, we give them some of this. Then all we have to do is get them to agree to go on one date with _anyone_. And to ensure that they attend this date, we take away something of value that they cannot get back until they go on the date. Second, we make them think they're going on dates with different people, but in reality it's with _each other_. Give them some activities to do together, perhaps throw in some alcohol, and therein, General Iroh, lies the push."

Iroh thought this over for a second. "I don't particularly understand your thought process on this one, Madame Meishuo, but they don't call you the best for nothing. Now, how exactly—"

She tapped the box filled with natural herbs. "This is called The Petal of the Cactus," she said with a wicked grin.

Iroh felt suddenly hopeful.

* * *

It was late into the night and Zuko was buried under a mountain of paperwork. He was alone now in his office as he had (begrudgingly) told Katara to go to bed some time ago. She had moaned and carried on about how he was working too hard, but she had still ruffled his shaggy hair affectionately before leaving him to his work.

He was having a hard time focusing on his work, however. His thoughts kept drifting off to a certain waterbender who was probably curled up under silken sheets in a guest bedroom only a few rooms down from his office. He wondered if she slept in a gown or in her underwear (now _that_ was a lovely mental picture), or if she slept in nothing at all (holy shit).

He groaned and rubbed at his temples. Katara's visits were probably his favorite time of year, but he never seemed to get anything done when she was around.

There was a knock at the door and a moment later Iroh stepped through, puffing on a pipe.

"Nephew!" his uncle exclaimed happily, throwing his arms wide. "Why are you still in your office at this late hour? And where is Lady Katara?"

Zuko sighed and tilted his head back towards the ceiling. "Katara went to bed some time ago, and I am _trying _to put a dent in this paperwork Uncle, so if you could _please_—"

"Nonsense!" Iroh exclaimed. He brought the pipe to his lips and a moment later expelled a puff of smoke. It wafted over to Zuko, who sniffed it and straightened. "Uncle," he said sternly, "that's not tobacco. What are you smoking?"

Iron shrugged nonchalantly before offering his nephew the pipe. "Just a special smoking herb I received from a friend. Would you like to try it, Fire Lord Zuko?"

Zuko shook his head. "No thank you, Uncle, I really need to get to this paperwork—"

"But it will relax your body and mind, making your work easier and enjoyable."

Zuko watched his Uncle for a moment before rolling his eyes and reaching out for the pipe. "Fine, if it will get you to leave me be, then fine." Iroh handed him the pipe and Zuko quickly brought it to his lips before inhaling. Smoking was enjoyable for firebenders for very obvious reasons, and Zuko felt himself relax as the sweet taste of the smoke covered his tongue.

-Five minutes later-

Suddenly everything was hilarious and Zuko could not stop laughing. He was surveying some of the papers gathered on his desk (not actually filling them out or signing them, mind). "Hey Uncle, this guy misspelled 'routine'. How do you misspell that? I mean its r-o-u-t-e-e-n…no wait. Ha, now _I _just misspelled it. Where's Katara? She'd find that funny. I should go wake her up and tell her about it. She'd appreciate it. Me misspelling 'routine', I mean."

Uncle was watching him with twinkling eyes before slowly placing a contract in front of Zuko. The Fire Lord's eyes scanned over it quickly before he snorted and laughed some more. "A date clause? Seriously? I don't have time for that. Katara's here. I bet she'd get mad. If I went on a date, I mean."

Iroh handed Zuko a pen. "But Zuko, you need to put yourself out there more. Just go on _one _date with a lovely young lady. Once insy weensy date. That's all I want you to do. And it might make Katara jealous."

Zuko's head snapped up at that. He stared at Iroh with bleary and red eyes. "You think? No…no she wouldn't. Katara doesn't get jealous of me when I'm with other girls. I mean, that whole time I was with Mai she wasn't. Jealous. She wasn't jealous."

Iroh frowned. "Sometimes nephew I wonder if I should get you a pair of glasses."

Zuko frowned. "I'd look funny in glasses." He started searching for a blank sheet of parchment. "I should draw a picture of myself wearing glasses and then show it to Katara. She'd find it funny. The drawing of me with glasses, I mean."

Iroh poked his nephew on his shoulder. "Zuko, if you go on this date, Katara will be really happy about it."

Zuko's gaze narrowed. "How would you know?"

Iroh grinned. "A wise old man's intuition. It is merrily three hours of your time, Fire Lord Zuko. And it will make Katara happy."

Zuko blinked. "Make Katara…happy." He grinned stupidly before dissolving into laughter again. "I love making Katara happy. She's so pretty. When she's happy, I mean. When she's not being pretty all the time."

"Sign the document nephew."

For the first time since Iroh had put it there, Zuko noticed the pen in his hand. "Ha ha….okay sure." He signed the date clause with a flourish before holding it up for his uncle. "Yay."

"Very good Zuko!" Iroh praised, clapping his hands together. "I just need one more thing." He reached forward and picked up the old Fire Nation crown that Iroh had given Zuko when he had still been in prison. "I just need to take this with me for a little while."

Zuko suddenly looked distraught. "Wha? Why?"

"It's so that you don't try—" Iroh paused. "It will make Katara happy."

"Oh. Okay!"

"Goodnight nephew."

"Goodnight Uncle." Zuko then busied himself with his drawing, not noticing his Uncle leaving his office to talk to a plump woman on the other side of the door.

Four minutes later he was fast asleep.

* * *

"Zuko…? Are you alive?"

Someone was poking his head relentlessly. He opened his eyes slowly. He saw parchment, spilled ink…was that a drawing of him with glasses? Katara spotted it about the same time he did and snatched it up, a grin splitting across her face.

"Wow Zuko. How late were you up last night? Did you get slaphappy?" Her blue eyes continued to trace over the drawing and she snorted with laughter. "You gave yourself a mustache."

"Shut up Katara," Zuko groaned, moving to sit up in his chair and rub the sleep from his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Half past ten."

"_**WHAT?**_"

It took about thirty seconds for the Fire Lord to be out of his chair and scrambling around his office for his fancy robes, the hell were his shoes— ah, there they were, his crown…his crown his crown…where was that stupid thing—

Zuko froze.

"Oh _no._"

"Zuko," Katara said, gaining his attention. She was trying to keep a smile off of her face. "Calm down. Your meeting at ten fifteen was cancelled."

But Zuko was already shaking his head as he moved around everything on his desk. "This is bad. This is _really _bad."

"Zuko—"

"I thought…but it was a dream…wasn't it?"

A smoking pipe. Uncle Iroh. A dating clause. His Uncle carrying his crown, the one that was so important to him, out the door. Lots of laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. Throw some thoughts of Katara in there…

He glanced at the paper that was in her hands, the drawing he had done of himself wearing glasses.

"_Shit_."

"Zuko?" Katara called, concerned gaze following him as he continued to search his desk. "What's going on? Is your crown missing—"

"I have to find my Uncle." And with that he moved past her and was out of his office. Katara rolled his eyes. She wished Zuko would stop and explain things to her every once in awhile. She hated being out of the loop. However, she was definitely keeping this drawing of him wearing glasses. It was hilarious.

* * *

Breakfast was normally much more fun with Zuko there to talk to, but Katara had picked up a couple of adventure scrolls in the library and had one spread out next to her while she ate. She was just getting to a very riveting part when a plump woman with heavy purple eye shadow smeared on her eyelids slipped into the chair next to her.

"Hello," the woman said amicably, and Katara nodded back quickly, too absorbed in her scroll to give the woman a proper greeting.

A moment later the woman struck a match and lit a cigarette and Katara gagged as the smoke drifted over to her.

"Um, could you please smoke that somewhere else? I'm trying to eat my breakfast."

The woman gave her an apologetic look, but didn't put out the cigarette. "Sorry dear, I just assumed everyone that stayed in the palace with the Fire Lord was okay with a little smoke."

This caused Katara to raise her eyebrows and turn to face the woman head on. It was then that she recognized her. "Madame Meishuo? The Matchmaker?"

The woman gave her a feral smile before nodding. "The one and only."

Katara's eyes narrowed. "Well then, _Madame Meishuo, _would you please put out your cigarette? I don't care for smoke."

Madame Meishuo nodded and shrugged. She still didn't put the cigarette out. "Well alright then. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Most people from the Water Tribes don't have the backbone to handle a smoke now and again. They just can't appreciate another cultures tradition. Can't blame you, your taste buds most be dull from all that…blubber."

At this Katara bristled. She whirled around in her chair and snatched the cigarette from Madame Meishuo's hands. "I'll have you know that if anyone from the Water Tribe appreciates another culture's traditions, it's _me_." And with that, she took a massive puff from the cigarette, practically coughing a lung out when she finally expelled the smoke.

She paused. That hadn't tasted like other cigarettes Zuko had coaxed her into trying.

"This isn't tobacco is it?"

Madame Meishuo gave her a mischievous grin and shook her head.

-Three Minutes Later-

Everything was hilarious and Katara could not stop laughing.

"And then I found a picture of him with glasses! It was great. He's actually pretty good a drawing though, but he never draws anything funny. I wish I had it now, you'd laugh too!"

Madame Meishuo was tapping a piece of paper on top of Katara's scroll. "Would you sign this please, sweetie?"

Katara picked it up and glanced it over. "A date clause? Why would I want to go on a date?"

Before Madame Meishuo could open her mouth to explain Katara had dug in to the fruit bowl. "Oh man, this fruit is _delicious_. I don't know what it is about the Fire Nation, but when it comes together with fruit, it just makes super amazing fruit. Like…it's awesome. It's so good. It's the best fruit I've ever tasted. I don't even know if I can explain to you how awesome this fruit is."

"Sign the document, Katara."

"But _why _would I go on a date? I don't want to. Have you tried this fruit? Oh Spirits, _this fruit!_"

Madame Meishuo was growing impatient. "Sweetheart, please just sign this contract. I promise you won't regret. It'll make Zuko angry."

Katara perked up at this. "He's so cute when he's angry!" Then she frowned. "But I'd rather Zuko be happy."

"Well then, signing this will make him happy."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay!"

Madame Meishuo handed Katara a pen, and she signed the contract with a flourish. Before Katara could dig into the fruit again, the matchmaker reached out and pulled Katara's mother's necklace away from her neck. "Oh dear, this has a giant spot of dirt on it."

Confused, Katara began to shake her head. "What? No, I cleaned it this morning!"

"Don't worry dear, I'll be right back with it! I'm just going to have it cleaned for you, alright?"

The waterbender gave her an anguished look but nodded anyway. "Well, if you think it's dirty—"

"Alright then sweetie!" Madame Meishuo exclaimed as she stood up with Katara's necklace in one hand and the date clause document in another. "Why don't you take a nap before your date tonight?"

"It's tonight?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"Okay."

Three minutes later she was fast asleep with her head in a bowl of fruit.

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO GO ON A DATE IN ORDER TO GET MY CROWN BACK?"

Iroh shrugged and held up the document that Zuko had signed the night before. "Just go on the date, Fire Lord Zuko, and you can have your crown back. Remember, you signed this document."

"BECAUSE I WAS HIGH. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON."

"Well Zuko, you should be careful what you smoke—"

"BULLSHIT. YOU _GAVE IT TO ME. _IN A PIPE. YOU GAVE IT TO ME _IN YOUR OWN PIPE._"

"Nephew—"

"AND NOW I HAVE TO GO ON—"

"Iroh?"

The sound of Katara's voice silenced Zuko's rant. Both men turned to see the confused waterbender standing in the doorway of Iroh's office. "Sorry for interrupting, but I was wondering if you could tell me where Madame Meishuo is? I need to speak with her. Immediately."

Zuko stepped forward and began to run his fingers through her long, wavy hair. "You have fruit in your hair," he explained, as if this was an everyday occurrence. She relaxed under his touch as he picked grapes and bits of orange out of her hair. His fingertips glided over her neck as he made sure everything was out of her hair. Her breath hitched. He smirked. In retaliation she moved her hand to trace along the side of his thigh that she could reach. He sucked in a breath before freezing. She smirked.

"—she should be in the courtyard enjoying a few musicians I called in to entertain her for the afternoon."

"Thank you Iroh," Katara said sweetly before turning on her heel and marching out of the room. Zuko blinked, stood up straight and then turned back to his uncle. It was Iroh who was now smirking.

"Do you and Lady Katara always tease each other in that way? You should be careful. Soon the both of you will reach a boiling point."

Zuko glared at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you and Katara continue teasing each other at this rate, all your problems over producing an heir will be solved!"

"I really hate you sometimes."

* * *

Katara was livid as she stalked into the restaurant where she was supposed to join up with her "date". Absolutely livid. How was she supposed to know that the document she has signed earlier was a legitimate Fire Nation contract?

No, she wasn't livid. She was murderous.

And she couldn't get her necklace back until she went on this stupid date. She and her mysterious man had a list of three activities. First, dinner. Second, a play in the downtown part of the Capitol. Third, dessert, and then? Apparently she and her date were supposed to figure things out from there, but Katara would be booking it back to the palace for a stiff drink. Zuko would understand if she raided the special stash he had underneath his desk.

She slumped down at the table that she had been assigned to, one that was in its own private corner in this upscale, fancy restaurant that served Fire Nation delicacies. In other words, Katara wouldn't be getting a proper dinner tonight. She clasped her hands together on the table and waited for the waiter to come around so she could order a glass of wine to kick off the night. After a few minutes of waiting, she was about to get up and hunt down the waiter herself when someone slipped into the seat across for her. She steeled herself before looking up at the figure. He was hooded.

This meant he was sketchy. Great.

And then the hooded figure yanked off his hood. He had gold eyes, a scar across the right side of his face, shaggy hair that he kept just long enough to pull it back into a royal topknot, and a furious expression.

She shrieked and he shouted something about murdering his uncle.


	2. Part 2

**A/N: Wow! I definitely wasn't expecting that much positive feedback! Thank you so much you guys!**

**Warning: drinking and sexytimes await you. Speaking of sexytimes, this is the first detailed lemon-ish thing I've ever written. It's not 'hubba hubba' sexy, like we're all used to. But I like to think it's pleasant enough.**

**Enjoy and please review!**

* * *

The waiter realized that if he didn't do something to distract the young pair soon then the restaurant would be both flooded and burned down simultaneously. He skidded up to their table and sat down a bottle of wine and a plate full of appetizers.

This effectively silenced the pair; however they continued to glare in each other's direction.

"Tell me Zuko, was this _your _idea?"

"Of course it wasn't! What makes you think I would be interested in doing something like this with you?"

"Gee. Thanks."

"You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure."

"Katara—"

"Oh whatever Zuko. I get that this wasn't your idea and it certainly wasn't _my _idea. Obviously that stupid Matchmaker lady enjoys putting her nose where it doesn't belong."

"Yeah well, she had an accomplice."

"Your uncle?"

"Who else?"

"That doesn't surprise me in the—ARE THOSE EYEBALLS?"

Zuko looked at her in surprised amusement. "They're croclizzard eyeballs. They're considered a delicacy."

Katara stared down at the plate with obvious distaste before pushing it in Zuko's direction. "Then it's a delicacy that I will happily _not_ indulge myself with."

"Why are you pushing it towards me? I don't like them either." He reached forward and began to push the plate back to the center of the table. The pushing back and forth turned into a ten second struggle before Katara jerked her hand forward too hard. The plate slide off the side of the table and crashed onto the floor. Eyeballs rolled everywhere. A few women screamed.

Zuko leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Typical," he huffed.

A bus boy practically ran from the kitchens over to their table with a broom and a dustpan. He was a tall, dark skinned boy with light blue eyes. He froze when he spotted Katara. "Katara of the Southern Water Tribe? Wo-wow. Who'd have thought I'd ever get the opportunity to meet you?"

He was clearly gushing.

"I'm Pakak! I'm from the Northern Water Tribe." He thrust his hand out for Katara to shake it and she reluctantly did so. "Nice to meet you," she greeted politely. As soon as she pulled her hand away from his Pakak stared down at his own hand for a moment, attempting not to hyperventilate.

"Just so you know you're _huge_ in the Northern Water Tribe. We're all big fans!"

Katara smiled before nodding awkwardly. "That's nice. I wasn't aware that I had a fanbase. Um, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you doing here in the Fire Nation?"

Pakak smiled. "Just exploring. All that snow can be dreary. Anyway, you're a pretty big celebrity up there and it's safe to say you're sort of our most sought after girl, if it's not too bold of me to say."

Zuko's expression went about ten shades of black and he opened his mouth to say something extraordinarily rude when Katara quickly cut in. "That's nice to know. Um, could we by chance get menus?

Pakak nearly fell over in his haste to the front of the restaurant. "Of course Lady Katara! Absolutely!"

As soon as he was out of site Katara immediately poured herself a glass of wine and gulped half of it down.

"Save some for me," Zuko growled before pulling the bottle away from her. After he had poured his own glass and after Pakak had returned with an assortment of menus for entrees, drinks and desserts, he sat there for a moment and watched Katara.

"This is such bullshit."

She snorted into her glass before setting it aside with an amused smile. "If it makes you feel any better, this is quite possibly the _worst _date I've ever been on."

He raised an eyebrow. "Complete with flying eyeballs and obsessed fanboys."

Katara grinned. "At least no one's singing."

At that moment, a very fat man made his way toward their table with a sungi horn in his arms.

* * *

"Ya know," Katara said around a mouthful of food, "I take back what I said earlier. This is the best date ever!"

She was, to Zuko's horror, beginning to enjoy herself. The man with the sungi horn actually had a lovely baritone voice, and the food wasn't so bad. Who knew that if you ordered something "normal, for the love of the Spirits" they simply brought you chicken stir fry?

Three glasses of wine also helped.

Placing her chopsticks down on her empty plate, Katara sighed with contentment. Zuko, for his part, was glaring down at his food moodily. When he noticed she was finished, he straightened up and began to pull his hood over his head again.

"What are you doing?" Katara asked, looking startled.

He sighed before rolling his eyes. "We're done with dinner so I was assuming we would head back to the palace now."

Katara pouted. "But we haven't even ordered dessert! And besides," she said in a much smaller voice, "we still have that play to go to."

"Are you serious Katara? Did you even look to see what play they're sending us to? It's 'The Flame of My Heart' and I'll be damned if I have subject myself to that again."

Katara cocked her head to the side and smirked. "You mean you've already seen it, Fire Lord?"

Zuko fidgeted in his seat uncomfortably. "It was Uncle's idea, don't remind me. Those are painful memories I would like to suppress."

At that Katara burst out laughing.

"It's not funny," he grumbled.

"We have to go now!" she exclaimed. "After dessert, of course."

He frowned and shook his head. "No way. I'm leaving now. If you want to stuff yourself with sweets and watch a crappy play, then have at it."

Katara's gaze narrowed dangerously. "You're my date and you're _ditching me?_"

Zuko rolled his eyes before standing up. "Well yeah, looks that way. I actually have things to attend to at the palace, Katara."

Katara let out a huff of indignation before she spotted Pakak leering at her from the kitchens, most likely thinking he wouldn't be noticed. A smirk played across her features. She could play dirty. With a flick of her wrist she knocked her empty wine glass off of the table. In record time, Pakak was by their table, offering her a new glass and a napkin.

"Actually Pakak," she practically purred, "I was wondering if you could do something else for me."

"Sure! Anything for you, Lady Katara!" he spluttered, obviously a little confused though exhilarated at being spoken to.

"Well you see Pakak, my _date _here is leaving, and I'm supposed to go to this play. But since my date is leaving me alone it looks like I'll have to go all by myself."

She could feel Zuko glaring daggers at her.

Pakak actually gasped in horror. "Oh no!" He reached up to rub the back of his head before glancing around anxiously. "Did you need someone to accompany you, Lady Katara?"

Katara nodded eagerly. "That would be _lovely_."

Pakak grinning cheekily at her and then, convinced no one could overhear, he leaned in and whispered into Katara's ear. "I get it. You want a piece of this. Totally understandable, most girls can't resist and, honestly, I'm surprised it took you so long to come on to me. I get off in about an hour. Meet me out back by the dumpsters and I'll make sure you—"

Katara bent the rest of the wine from the bottle and splashed it into Pakak's face. He coughed and fell backwards onto his haunches. "Really?" she snapped, fury embodied. "_Really?_"

Zuko's uproarious laughter made her pause. He was leisurely standing a few feet away, grinning. "Backfired on you, didn't he?"

Katara stood so fast her chair toppled over. "Well look at you! _THE PICTURE PERFECT LORD OF CHIVALRY!"_

"Oh come on now, you handled yourself."

"NO THANKS TO YOU." She turned and stalked out of the restaurant, chin up in the air. Outside, the night was cool and pleasant and she had let her body relax a little bit when Zuko appeared at her shoulder.

"I didn't even get dessert."

Zuko gently nudged her hand with his. "Come on, I'll order us dessert back at the palace."

A summer breeze ruffled Katara's loose hair so that it moved about her shoulders. She slowly shook her head. "You go on. It's a nice night. Besides, I really wouldn't have minded seeing that play."

They stood there like that for a moment and Katara had to keep a smile to herself when she saw his resolve breaking. He rubbed his hands over his face, ran his fingers through his hair—things he did when he was debating something. "Alright fine, we'll go see a play."

A victorious grin split across Katara's face and she moved to give Zuko a hug when he put a warm hand on her shoulder. "But we aren't seeing 'The Flame of My Heart'. I wasn't kidding when I said I'd never subject myself to that again. We're going to a play in the Middle District." He entwined his fingers with hers and with sure steps led her away from the restaurant.

* * *

The show was called 'The Quake'. It was about a man and a woman, two lovers, who couldn't be together for various reasons. They were from different countries, but had met when they were both small children and had been friends for a long time. After a brief affair when they were young adults, they were separated by years of heartbreaking war. They did not see each other for a long time until they both ended up going to the same wedding: the marriage between his daughter and her son, who had met and fallen in love during a time of peace and serenity after the war.

The play had its comedic moments, but mostly it was sad, and when the curtain finally closed over the stage Katara was completely beside herself.

She let Zuko lead her back into the night air, but she was distraught. He led her to a bench outside of the theater where he made her sit down next to him.

She bit her lip before finally she couldn't seem to hold herself together anymore. The tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks and she hiccupped.

"Geez Katara, I didn't think it would upset you that badly…" he trailed off with a sigh before scooting in a little closer to her.

"They didn't get…to be together…it's so sad!" she said between sobs.

"It's just a play!" There was a sign of desperation in his voice now. Zuko never knew what to do with crying girls, especially Katara. "I thought you would appreciate the great performances and the artistic license the director took with the stage set up—"

"_They didn't get to be together!_" she wailed before burying her head in her hands. Zuko sighed before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into his chest. He made a mental note to only take Katara to comedies from now on. He rubbed soothing circles into her back and nuzzled the top of her head affectionately, pulling a giggle out of her.

"See? You're alright. It was just a play. It wasn't real. You're still Katara, and you haven't gone through anything that heartbreaking, as far as I know."

She let out a laugh as she pulled away from him, although her eyes were still wet. "Of course you know, I tell you everything." Something in her expression hardened at those words, and upon seeing that Zuko scrambled for another way to cheer her up.

"Come on, I'll buy you some of that cotton candy stuff you love so much."

She perked up a little bit. "Alright."

* * *

As Katara stuffed a tuft of pink cotton candy in her mouth she noticed with growing curiosity how Zuko seemed to know his way around every nook and corner of the Middle District. They were sitting at a small table outside of a tea shop. Zuko had his head propped up in his hands and his eyes were closed.

"You know, for a Fire Lord whose supposed to be in his palace attending to business at all times, you sure know your way around the Capitol City pretty well." Popping the last bit of candy into her mouth, Katara took a moment to lick the sweet stickiness off of her fingers. Zuko, who had opened his eyes when she had started speaking, was watching her do this with rapt attention.

It took him a moment to work his gaze away from her fingers and lips and focus on her face. He cleared his throat. "Sometimes I sneak into the city to just…have a look around."

"Sometimes?"

"Alright, a lot actually. It's just," he leaned forward, suddenly serious, "I can't coop myself up in the palace and refuse to acknowledge how my people live. How can I make well informed decisions about their lives if I don't even know how they're living them? I don't expect—"

"It's fine. I figured you had your reasons when I first saw you sneak out of the palace grounds three years ago." She ran her finger along the edge of the table, refusing to meet his gaze. "I guess I just always wondered why you never brought me along."

"The first few years were dangerous. I wasn't going to risk your safety," he answered with surety.

"I can handle myself!" Katara snapped.

He sighed. "I know. I know you're perfectly capable of handling yourself, but that doesn't mean I'm going to willingly put you in dangerous situations. It wasn't peaceful like it is now the first couple of years that I was Fire Lord. I had some close calls."

Katara opened her mouth to push him further on the subject, but thought better of it. Sometimes, when the day had felt full and chaotic she would sneak off to the small garden with the turtle duck pond and bend until her heart was content. The alone time gave her peace, gave her time to reflect. Wondering around his city at night must have had the same effect on Zuko in some strange, unusual way.

That was normally Zuko's style anyhow.

"Besides," Zuko continued, "I've been coming out a lot more often as of late, now that they've taken down all those stupid posters that announced my engagement to Mai."

Katara froze. He hadn't spoken of his ex-fiancé all winter long, and, being the good friend that she was, Katara had tried very hard to avoid the subject in order to spare his feelings. Right now, however, she was sick of trying.

"Why didn't you tell me about her?"

He shrugged and refused to meet her eye.

"Because it really _sucked _to find out that you and Mai weren't together anymore through catching Mai and Ty Lee making out behind a storage shed on Kyoshi Island!" She let out a whooshing breath and Zuko cringed. They both knew a rant was coming on.

"I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that you sent letters to me all throughout the summer and didn't even _mention_ that you two were having issues, or the fact that I wasn't even _surprised_ because you never bother to let me know what's going on with your relationship in the first place! I always told you _everything_. That first year with Aang—" she waved a hand to silence him when he opened his mouth"—let's not even go there. But what about those two years that I was with Hanuk? I always let you know what was going on in my life because you're my best friend and I respected and wanted your opinion! Yet, when you _break off your engagement_, I don't find out until MONTHS LATER when I see your ex-fiancé tangled up with someone else!"

Chest heaving, Katara fell back into her chair, rant over and eyes wide. Zuko looked her right in the eye, gaze stony and jaw clenched. "I never told you about anything because, best friend or no, it was _none of your fucking business_," he hissed.

She bristled, feeling like she'd been slapped in the face. She stood up and walked away before he could see the tears gathering in her eyes. She hated it when they argued, because it was normally loud, nasty, and usually over something stupid. Sniffing, she made her way in the pub that was across the street and slipped into a stool at the bar.

"Firewhiskey," she grumbled to the bushy bearded bar tender. He pulled out a shot glass and poured the drink into it, but when he moved to put the bottle back onto the shelf she held up a hand to stop him. "Just…just leave the bottle." The bartender raised an eyebrow but made no comment.

She sat there for awhile and stared at her drink. She didn't bother looking at Zuko when he slid onto the stool beside her.

"Why buy a bottle when you could just bend the liquor from the shelf and down your throat?"

Ahh, he always started off apologies with a lame joke.

She turned to face him and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"I'm sorry," he muttered sheepishly. "I mean, I meant what I said but I should have said it…in a nicer fashion."

She blinked at him before sighing and turning back to her drink. "All this just to get my necklace back," she mused as a way of dismissing their pervious argument. She missed the relief that came over his face before he straightened up and caught the bartender's attention. "I'll have a bottle as well."

The bartender tossed a dirty rag over his shoulder before crossing his arms. "Ya got something to show for it, yeah?" Zuko rolled his eyes and flicked a few gold coins at the bartender who caught them with ease. "Right then," he said, placing a bottle of firewhiskey and a shot glass before Zuko. "Suit yourself."

Zuko poured his drink before turning back to Katara, who still hadn't touched hers. "So," he said, running a hand through his hair, "is this a 'puke-in-the-bushes-as-we-stubble-our-way-back-to-the-palace' drinking adventure or should I just go ahead and message Uncle and let him know to come get us in a couple of hours?"

Smirking, Katara grabbed her drink and turned to him. "I have an idea."

"That's not very comforting."

Katara chose to ignore that comment. "Toph taught me a new drinking game last spring."

"Right, so I should also let Uncle know to expect signs of alcohol poisoning. Wonderful."

"It's called 'Confessions'."

"Sounds promising."

"The idea is you make a confession, preferably one worth hearing, and then you get to take a shot! The point of the game is to—what's with that look? It's fun!"

"Yes, being urged to spill your secrets while also getting very drunk—sounds great!"

"Are you in or not?"

There was a few mutterings and swear words. "_Fine_. I already hate the next few hours." Then he flicked a piece of paper at the bartender, along with a few more coins. "When we're too wasted to sit upright, message him."

* * *

They found a cozy corner in the back of the bar to sit down at and enjoy their game.

"You go first," Katara prodded, settling herself into her seat.

"This is your idea, you go first."

She looked down at the blood red liquid in her glass, took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright, whatever. Katara's First Confession—" Zuko snorted. "—_Katara's First Confession_," she said again, giving him a glare. "I hate it when people ask me what I'm going to do with my future." She brought her drink to her mouth and tossed it back with ease. Setting her now empty glass back onto the table, she turned to Zuko expectantly.

He sighed. "Zuko's First…okay, is that necessary? Do I really need to say that?"

She stuck out her lip and cocked her head to the side.

Rolling his eyes (and trying very hard _not _to think that she looked adorable when she did that), he picked up his drink. "The things I do for you," he grumbled. "Zuko's First Bloody Confession… I really love my cloak."

"_Zuko!_"

"What? It's a legitimate confession!"

"No its not! Your confession is supposed to be somewhat serious!"

"You never mentioned that."

"Well I'm mentioning it now! So you can't take your shot—Zuko!"

He tried very hard not to wince or cough as the burning liquid made its way down his throat. He had to at least _appear _to be manly for Agni's sake.

When the sensation had passed he turned to Katara with a smirk. "Your turn."

Katara bent her firewhiskey into her glass so that she wouldn't have to take her glower off Zuko. Deciding that she would stick to the rules of the game (even if _someone_ was going to cheat), she picked up her drink and cleared her throat. "Katara's Second Confession, I think Toph is better off without her parents."

Zuko bowed his head to look at his hands clenched in his lap, but after a moment he nodded. "I hate to say I agree but…yeah."

"I know they love her and vice versa but—"

"They just don't—"

"—get her," she finished.

Zuko picked his glass back up without another word. "Zuko's Second Bloody Confession, sometimes I still wish I had my Blue Spirit Mask." After he had swallowed his drink, he didn't bother to hold back his cough.

"You didn't cheat that time!"

"Yay for Zuko."

She giggled at his sarcasm and scooted her chair closer to his. Zuko quirked his eyebrow, but smiled at her in return. Katara was no lightweight, but he was guessing the wine from earlier was still lingering. She reached out and began to play with his chin length hair, something she did when she was either brooding or tipsy. "Katara's Third Confession," she stated matter of fact, "I really love your hair at this length. It's annoying when boy's have hair that's longer than mine." She took her drink and then returned to playing with his hair. Then her warm fingers moved to his face where they trailed down his cheek to his jaw. They lingered there. She could feel the incoming scruff; he would need to shave tomorrow.

Openly staring at her, he leaned forward and traced a finger over the curve of her knee. She squirmed a little before leaning forward as well.

"I cut my hair and keep it the way it is because if I grow it out, I'm terrified I'll look into the mirror one day and see my father."

Her hand fell away from his face and she bowed her head. She felt cold, cold all over now.

"Zuko, you're _nothing _like your father."

He made a noise in the back of his throat before turning away. "That was my third confession," he said before taking his drink.

She looked at him for a long time but he kept himself angled away from her. "Katara's Forth Confession, I really hate formal affairs. I don't think you realize how many _layers _have to go on my body just for them to call it 'evening wear'. And all that makeup they slab on? You can just forget it, along with those stupid pins they jab in my hair just to hold it up. All for the sake of _beauty._" She made a 'harumpf' noise before taking her forth shot.

She swayed a little in her chair. Oh man, was she starting to feel it now. Firewhiskey wasn't called 'The Man Slammer' for nothing.

"Well then, whoever dresses you for those formal events doesn't have a _clue _what beauty is."

"Thanks a lot!"

"That's not what I meant!" He scooted his chair up to her so that there wasn't any space between them. He trailed a finger along her arm and, the alcohol making him feel bold, reached up and cupped her face. "Don't get me wrong Katara, you're stunning, _stunning _in your 'formal wear' or whatever the hell you call it. But I prefer you as you are now. You look natural, with your hair down and none of that powder shit on your face. You look like yourself."

He ran his thumb along the curve of her cheek bone and then moved his hand so that his thumb grazed her lower lip. She leaned into his touch, blue eyes wide and questioning. "So…you think I'm attractive as I am now?" she whispered around his thumb. He gulped and nodded, golden eyes focusing on her mouth.

She took a deep breath before pulling back slightly. "That's your forth confession. Take your drink." He nodded again, gaze never leaving her face while he groped for the bottle with his free hand. He took a swig and then set it firmly back down onto the table.

He cupped her face now with both hands, and their faces were only inches apart. "Your turn," he said quietly.

She started up at him. She wondered if he could tell how erratic her breathing was. She wondered if he could tell that her heartbeat was hammering in her chest like a beating drum. She wondered if he realized the enormity of the confession that was on the tip of her tongue. She wondered how he'd react.

Hopefully well, since she was about to say it.

She squeezed her eyes shut, too terrified to see his expression.

"Katara's…okay I lost count…Katara's Confession…When I saw Mai with Ty Lee together on Kyoshi I was so overjoyed I could have cried. Because I thought, maybe, just maybe I had a _chance _to—"

She never got to finish her confession. Firm, warm lips pressed against hers. It was like a frenzy. A very nice, super awesome frenzy. She laced her arms around his neck, one hand grabbing fistfuls of his thick hair. One of his hands moved from her face to her shoulder to her waist to her hip where he gripped it, bunching up the fabric of her tunic. She moved to straddle him, trying to get as close as she physically could, all the while their lips and tongues moving in a whirlwind of emotion. He tasted like the cinnamon put in firewhiskey in order to give it flavor.

He moved his other hand from her face so that it accompanied the other at her hips. He moved his lips from her mouth to her neck and her eyes flew open at the shockwaves his kisses were sending to the bottom of her stomach.

Open eyes meant being able to see your surroundings however. The majority of the customers in the pub were staring at them. One man nudged his wife and nodded at Zuko and Katara with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Zuko, we need to…get somewhere private," she said, panting.

He stood so quickly she had to grab onto his shoulders so she wouldn't topple over. He knocked over one of their bottles before practically dragging her to the first room her could find. It was a storage closet.

"Typical," he said, but he was grinning. "Oh but lookie here, it locks from the inside."

After she heard the click Katara lost no time pushing Zuko up against the door and capturing his lips again. Now that they were alone, Zuko seemed to have grown even bolder. He ran his fingers up and down her torso, tracing over her ribs and the curve of her hips. She moaned when his fingers skimmed the bottom of her breasts and she ground her hips against his in encouragement. He answered by cupping her breasts and squeezing gently, running his thumbs over her nipples until they hardened.

She moaned his name. The light sounds she was making, and knowing that _he _was the cause made all of his blood rush downward, making his pants as tight as ever now.

Katara could feel his need digging into her thigh. She looked up into his face, a feral gleam in her eye, before reaching down and cupping him. His head hit the wall with a _thunk_ when she began to lightly stroke and squeeze. He groaned, making her grow braver. Her fingertips dipped under the waistband of his pants, running along hot and taunt skin spread out over solid muscle. It had been a while since she had done this, but boys had always proven to be pretty basic when it came to sex. Or at least, that was what Katara had been lead to believe with her past boyfriends.

Zuko, she immediately discovered, was not basic. Not even remotely.

Before she could wrap her hand fully around him he grabbed her up and managed to stumble to the other corner of the room. There was an old table there with odd knick knacks on top. Katara could see no reason why a table was in a storage closet. She reasoned the Spirits must have really wanted her to get off.

Shoving all the unnecessary crap off of the table, he laid her down and encouraged her to keep her legs wrapped around his waist. She sat up and made one more valiant effort to dip her hand underneath the waistband of his pants again, but he swatted her hand away. "Ladies first."

She laid back down and he quickly went to fiddling with the sash that tied her tunic. He pulled it open, expecting to find bindings, a slip of fabric, _something_.

Katara could still surprise him, it seemed.

"You…you're not w-w-wearing—"

"Stop talking!" she hissed and he obediently dipped his head down to kiss her neck. Then as an afterthought she added, "It was hot today."

"How convenient for me," he said into her slick skin. He moved his mouth slowly away from her neck—nipping here, sucking there—until he reached her bare breasts. They were soft and supple under his lips. He kissed, nipped and sucked. Kiss, nip, suck. Kiss, nip, suck. Kiss, nip, suck until she was writhing beneath him. Then he moved his hand down her belly to trace over the lower part of her stomach. With both hands he pulled her leggings that she wore over her rump and made a show of pulling them away from her legs. Any excuse to run his fingers along her calves and inner thighs, he took.

He groaned when he realized she wasn't wearing anything underneath her leggings either.

She wrapped her legs back around his waist and he covered her mouth with his. He gently spread her legs a little bit further, bringing her up as close as possible. He paused, as if gathering his thoughts, before his fingers traveled to the apex of her thighs, sliding along her folds.

She opened her mouth and a stream of 'yes's poured from between her lips. Just to be mean (and to try to prolong her satisfaction since she already looked like she was about to unfold) he pulled his hand away and gripped her thigh.

"What are you doing?" she whined. "Don't stop _now_."

"I wasn't planning too." He moved his hand back in and ran his thumb just around the edges of her clit, teasing her.

"Please please please Zuko, _please._"

Slowly he swiped his thumb over her clit before inserting a finger inside her.

She cried out, her back arching and her legs tightening around his waist as he slowly pumped his finger. She encouraged, no, she _begged _for him to go faster, but he had to make this last because he was pretty sure when push came to shove he wasn't going to last very long himself. It had…well it had been awhile and his stamina wasn't as impressive as it had been six months ago.

He moved his mouth so that it covered her breasts again. Nip, kiss, suck. Pump pump pump. Nip, kiss, suck. Pump pump pump. His mouth moved to her neck. Nip, kiss, suck. Pump pump pump.

Her soft cries were steadfast in his ear and finally, after continuous encouraging, he inserted a second finger and moved his hand so that he was coming in from a different angle.

Oh. That hit the spot.

She bit down into his shoulder so that she wouldn't scream. He went a little faster and swept his thumb over her clit in a matching rhythm with his fingers.

Katara could feel the tightening coil in the lower pit of her body. Every time he hit that spot pleasure jolted up her body like lightning. And then, and then finally _finally_—

White hot sensation pulsed across her as her orgasm took grip of her body. It was like he had lit her on fire. She rode it out as silently as she could before collapsing back against the table, pleasure muddling her mind.

"You alive?" he whispered in her ear, his own chest heaving. She nodded slowly and made an 'mmhmm' sound before nuzzling her face into his neck. Then, after taking a moment to regain her breath, she leaned up and licked along the curve of his ear. "Your turn." He shuddered.

_BANG BANG BANG!_

"_HEY YOU TWO! YOU CAN'T JUST GO INTO A CLOSET AND FUCK WHEREEVER YOU LIKE. YOUR UNCLE'S HERE, LAD. GET OUT BEFORE I COME IN THERE AND GET YA MYSELF."_

"Shit."

* * *

They were both much drunker then they had realized. They teetered and tottered down the hallways of the palace before Zuko grabbed her hand and pulled her into his own bedroom. They were both tired, exhausted actually, and Zuko was still wet from where the bartender had thrown a bucket of icy water onto him.

"Trust me Katara," he had said when she moved to bend it off of him. "It's doing me a favor."

Collapsing onto his bed, Zuko peeled off his damp shirt and shoes before sliding over to the right side of the bed so that Katara could have the left. She ventured into his closet and came out a moment later wearing one of his silk shirts that he sometimes wore to sleep. He smiled appreciatively and patted the spot next to him. She climbed in and cuddled up beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"I'm going to hate you tomorrow morning because of my hangover," she whispered.

"That's fine, even though it was all your fault." He watched her for a moment with a soft expression. "Katara, there's still one more confession I have to make."

"M'kay. Tell me in the morning." She was already drifting off.

He leaned in and kissed her forehead before closing his own eyes.

He still had one more confession. And it was dangerous.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Zuko. I'll make it up to him eventually.**


	3. Final Part

**A/N: I apologize for the delay. I went back and forth, debating over how I wanted to end this little ficlet, and actually ended up reworking some scenes. I do feel satisfied with how it turned out, however.**

**Warnings: The return of stoned!Zuko/Katara, language, and obnoxious cuteness.**

**And now I present to you the final part of 'The Date Clause' in all its cheesy glory. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! Enjoy and review!**

* * *

The sun slanted in through the window and hit Katara square in the face. She moaned before rolling over, legs entangling themselves in the sheets. But the sun continued to beat down on her face with relentless enthusiasm. With a groan she rolled out of bed and stumbled to the window before drawing the velvet curtains shut with a little more force than necessary. Grumbling she maneuvered back to the bed and climbed in, wondering how anyone could _possibly _be up and functioning at this hour.

She didn't notice the vase of fresh fire lilies sitting on the bedside table.

* * *

Madame Meishuo was not amused.

First of all, whoever had made her coffee that morning had done a wretched job.

"Does no one in the Fire Nation put sugar in _anything_?" She flagged down a servant before promptly shoving the coffee cup in his face. "This is so bitter I'm getting wrinkles! Here, taste it and tell me it's not terrible."

The servant looked down at her with a blank expression. "Actually, I'm the one that made your coffee, Madame."

"I—Well then!" She grabbed hold of the servant's hand and put the cup back in it. "Thank you but no thank you. Good day," she cleared her throat before turning on her heel and walking out of the dining hall. She would not start out her day feeling this embarrassed, she _would not._

And where was General Iroh? He was late!

She made her way out into the gardens before settling down on a stone bench before some flower beds. She took off her sandals and wiggled her toes against the soft grass. She was a native of the Earth Kingdom after all.

"I hear from the servants that you had some coffee trouble this morning, Madame Meishuo."

She swiveled in her seat to see Iroh standing off to her right, surveying some blossoms that she didn't recognize. Most have been some kind of rare Fire Nation flower.

"Something like that."

Iroh nodded before diverting his attention back to her. After making his way over to her and standing beside her, he pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to her.

"Before you ask, it's a news flier."

She glanced down at the paper and read the headline out loud. "Lady Katara Caught In Compromising Position With Mysterious Hooded Man."

She promptly burst out laughing.

"Where'd they do it then?"

"A storage closet in a pub."

A snort followed by more laughter. "That's fantastic! I told you Iroh; just a push was all they needed. Who caught them anyhow?"

"I did. Well, technically the bartender as well. He was not pleased."

"Well I hope they didn't make too big of a…mess." She cleared her throat again.

"They just shattered a bottle of firewhiskey, that's all."

"Ah firewhiskey. That explains everything." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I should probably bring that girl some contraceptive tea, just in case. I suppose I also owe her a necklace, don't I?" She stood up, slipped back on her sandals and was just about to leave when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned back to see Iroh pulling a small coin purse out from his pocket.

She waved him off. "That's not necessary."

He smiled before nodding knowingly and putting the coin purse away. "I'm assuming it's the title you want then?"

"I'm wealthy enough to buy your tea shop in Ba Sing Se and turn it into my personal day spa if I so wished. But for people to assume that I made the match between the current Fire Lord and his beau, even though I _technically _didn't do all that much, that is priceless."

Iroh laughed good naturedly before crossing his hands over his belly. "I'll have a lot of fun spreading those rumors."

"I'm sure you will."

* * *

Katara knew it was well past eleven in the afternoon. Katara did not care.

Her head was pounding.

_Pounding_.

Katara had decided that spending the rest of the day in bed would be the only acceptable way to survive the next twelve hours. Then it would be nighttime and she could just go back to sleep. Of course, this _was_ Zuko's room which meant that he'd reappear when the sun came down. This meant that she would already be waiting for him in bed when he withdrew to his quarters for the evening. The quarters that she was in now.

She burrowed back down into the bed before closing her eyes again. It was a solid plan.

Except that horrible matchmaker woman _ruined _it by letting herself into the room.

"Figured you'd be in here. I heard you had an exciting night last night!"

"No loud voices," Katara mumbled weakly as Madame Meishuo sat down at the foot of the bed.

"Sit up dear and drink this. It will help your hangover."

Katara tilted her head up and peaked out at the matchmaker. The woman was holding out a cup of tea. Tentatively, Katara sat up before taking the cup, bringing it to her lips and sipping. The flavor overall was smooth, but the aftertaste was bitter. Too bitter.

"Hey—"

"Drink it down dear. Gulp it if you must. Drink it—there's a good girl."

Katara drained the cup before gagging. "Most hangover tea Uncle Iroh makes is _much _better than that! Most tea that's super bitter is tea that—" She froze. "Oh."

Madame Meishuo folded her hands over her lap and gave her a small smile.

The young waterbender could feel herself turning red. "Erm…while I do _appreciate _the thought... I don't…actually…need it."

The matchmaker quirked an eyebrow. "Really? Because I was informed by Iroh that you and Fire Lord Zuko had some hanky panky last night in a storage closet."

Katara's face met her palm. "I suppose that depends on your definition of 'hanky panky'."

"I'm not following."

"Well…he just…_you know_."

"I do not know."

Katara heaved a sigh before making a very inappropriate gesture with her fingers.

"Are you telling me he didn't—"

"Nope."

"Well sweetheart he _does _love you then, doesn't he?" She sounded very amused.

Katara groaned before burying her face in her hands. "Oh Spirits _I know_! I mean, it was very nice for me. _Very nice_. But I feel so bad because the bartender tossed a bucket of cold water onto him so that he could walk home with some dignity! And he was so nice when we got back here too; I mean he didn't try anything! Most guys…most guys would want to finish what they started you know? And, granted, neither of us were very coherent, firewhiskey does that, but I distinctly—"

"Sweetheart I'm not a therapist."

"—remember him saying something about having a 'final confession' and I'm scared he's forgotten about that though. AND WHAT IF HE REGRETS LAST NIGHT? Oh no….oh no no no I just don't think I could handle that. And of course when I woke up he was already gone and I don't know where he is—"

"He's in his office."

"—not to mention I woke up with the hangover from HELL. Thank you for the tea by the way, I actually feel much better now. But I just don't know if I should go to him and try to probe his memory or if I should just tell him I love him, because I mean, I do—"

"I was serious about not being your therapist."

"—_OH SPIRITS….I DO LOVE HIM_. I LOVE ZUKO—"

"That's quite a revelation."

"—but of course I've always loved him. At first it was just like how I loved Sokka, like a brother. But that all changed somewhere around seventeen, but I was scared. I mean, he was with Mai and I just assumed he didn't feel the same way even though _everything felt different_. And I could have sworn he was looking at me the same way I looked at him but I just thought that he should be happy with Mai and that I should be happy with our friendship. But this past year everything has felt so _charged_—"

She finally shut up when her mother's necklace hit her on the forehead.

"I _told you_, I'm not a therapist!"

"Well EXCUSE ME for trying to confide in you—"

"You know, why don't you tell all that to Zuko?"

"I…suppose I could do that. Did you say he was in his office?"

"Yes I did. You should probably change out of his nightshirt before you go to see him, however. And possibly consider putting on some undergarments. Just a thought."

* * *

Katara was trembling.

This was honestly pathetic.

Talking to Zuko should not be such a daunting task. He was her best friend who knew pretty much everything about her.

And, because of last night, he had officially seen her naked. That was a big deal.

"It's just Zuko," she said out loud to herself. "Just sarcastic, overprotective, foot-in-mouth Zuko. Same as always." Steeling herself, she opened up to the door to his office and slipped inside before she could lose her bearings.

It was _sweltering_. A fire blazed in the fireplace, but it was so hot in the room that the air felt sticky. She heaved a sigh. Zuko always did this when he was freaking out about something.

She found him half dressed, crouched beside the bookshelf.

"You're _hiding _from me!"

He looked panicked. "I swear I'm not!"

"You have suspiciously tucked yourself out of sight beside a bookshelf."

"Obviously it's not out of sight, considering you found me and all."

"Your wit and charm continue to _slay _me Zuko—"

"I'm avoiding Uncle."

"Oh. How come?"

He quirked an eyebrow as if his reasons were completely obvious. "Because when he _does _come to talk to me, which eventually he will, it's just…it's going to be awkward. "

He scooted over next to the bookshelf before patting the floor space next to him. She sat down next to him before leaning her head back against the wall.

He looked at her form the corner of his eye. "I see you got your necklace back."

She smiled before bringing her fingers up to her neck to clutch the pendant. "Yeah, Madame Meishuo gave it to me this morning…along with some contraceptive tea."

Pink colored his cheeks, but instead of stammering over some awkward joke about the night before he grabbed an apple off the breakfast tray sitting on the floor on his other side. "Fruit?" he offered.

Ah, so he wasn't going to talk about it. She took the apple before turning her head away from him. Maybe he _did _regret the night before, since he couldn't bring himself to talk to her about it. She sank her teeth into the soft flesh of the apple but did not take note of the sweet taste of it on her tongue. She chewed mechanically before swallowing. With a sigh she placed the apple back onto the tray.

"Zuko?" she whispered.

He turned his head towards her, expression questioning. He was uneasy and fidgeting.

"You…regret what happened last night, don't you?"

She felt him stiffen beside her.

"It's okay if you do," she continued before he could say anything. "I mean, we were both drunk and its understandable if you did something last night that you wouldn't normally do when you were sober." She could feel her chest tightening, could feel her emotions gathering in the back of her throat. "I just want you to know that if you want to remain friends and only friends…I understand."

Plucking up her courage, she glanced up at him to see him staring at her with a calculating expression. "Do _you _regret last night, Katara?" he asked quietly.

She felt the beginnings of a tiny, if sad, smile on her lips. "No."

He squeezed his eyes shut before ducking his head. After a moment he reached out and tugged on her elbow, encouraging her to turn around so that they were facing each other. When her eyes met his, she noticed that his were shining more than usual, like there were tears in them.

"Do you remember last night, when I told you that I never confided in you about my relationship with Mai because it was none of your business?"

She frowned but nodded anyway.

"While that was technically true, I still wasn't being entirely honest with you." He scooted up to her, closing the space between them until their knees were touching. "If I talked to you about her, it would have been like signing my own death certificate. I felt like, if I exposed myself to you like that, told you those secrets, then it would have made it _real_. Like there was no turning back, that we were just going to be Katara And Zuko, Just Friends And Nothing More. I couldn't bare that, even though part of me knew it was stupid to ever wish for anything more."

He reached forward and took her hand in his, running his thumb across her knuckles. His hand was shaking.

"Zuko—"

"I love you," he blurted out.

"Wha—?"

"Since I was sixteen. Somewhere between you giving me a death threat when I first joined up with you guys and me throwing myself in front of a lightning bolt for you, I just…fell for you." He gulped but continued to hold her gaze with steadiness. "So there. That was my confession."

Katara felt caught between the urge to laugh and sob. Finally, after clearing her throat several times and continuously patting Zuko's hand so he would know she was going to speak, she spoke. "We're both idiots. You've loved me for the past six years and I've loved you for the past two."

His eyes widened adorably before he pulled her in close, his whole body shaking with unspoken happiness. Then pulled away just enough to start placing kisses on her forehead, the tip of her nose, the corner of her lips, her jaw, and her neck, with quiet 'love you's whispered in between. She giggled before clamoring up into his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. He gazed up at her with unbridled adoration and she wondered how either of them had managed to suppress their feeling for this long. "I _am _curious though, Fire Lord Zuko, if you fell in love with me back then, why didn't you just tell me?"

He frowned and shook his head. "You were fourteen and infatuated with Aang."

"So you went to Mai?"

He sighed. "Okay, I should explain that. Our first couple of years together were, technically, real, with us getting engaged and all—What are you giving me that look for? You were with Aang! What was I supposed to do? Steal the Avatar's girlfriend? But then Mai figured out that she had feelings for Ty Lee, and that turned into three solid years of drama—that I did not appreciate, mind— which included convincing Mai's mother not to disown her and finding out whether Ty Lee returned said feelings."

"So you haven't even been with her these past few years?"

"Short answer, no. We mostly spent them pining over the girls we both wanted but couldn't have. But I told her we could still pose as a couple for the public until she figured everything out."

"You're a good friend."

"I suppose."

Katara bit her lip and stared at him for a moment before shaking her head. "None of it matters now. Just you." She bent down and kissed him. It was hot and deep and _so much better _than it had been last night because both of them knew exactly what they were doing and they both _wanted this_ and his hands were already trailing up her legs—

"Not in your office," she said breathlessly. "A bed, pretty please?"

"Fair enough," he said into her neck. He stood, helped her up to her feet, grabbed her hand and then marched them both to the door. Her heart was hammering and she felt light headed and aroused. "How 'bout my room? It's closer."

"Okay," she heard him say as he wrenched open the door to his office and barreled through the doorway, gently tugging her behind him.

They both froze. Iroh, Madame Meishuo and a couple of guards were standing outside of his office, passing around what looked like a cigar.

Except it wasn't a cigar they were smoking, not really.

"When's the wedding?" one of the guards called out, grinning widely.

"The better question," Iroh began with amusement, "is when should we expect the heir, hmm?"

Katara and Zuko could do nothing but stare at them with their mouths hanging open.

"Rendered speechless by their love, I see," Madame Meishuo continued with a wink.

"Uncle? What the hell?" Zuko said, looking back in forth between his uncle, the matchmaker , and his guards (who were seriously slacking, because _honestly_).

"Nephew! We are just enjoying the last of Madame Meishuo's Petal of the Cactus!"

"Uncle, seriously—"

The cigar was thrust into Zuko's hands and he looked down at it with utter confusion. He looked over at Katara to see if she had something to say. She looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh.

-Seven Minutes Later-

"Shit Katara!...Ahhhhhhhh…" His hands were clutching the bedsheets and his body jerked around. There were tears in his eyes.

He was laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing…

Katara was straddling him, her fingers dancing lightly over his bare ribs. "I _knew _you were ticklish!" she exclaimed gleefully.

Zuko had descending into that silent, body shaking, tears streaming down your cheeks kind of laughter. His laughter was making Katara laugh. Finally she slid off of him and fell to his side, her hair pillowed around her. After catching his breath Zuko flipped himself over so that he was facing her and flung a leg over hers before scooting right up next to her. He began to tickle her bare stomach and side (her tunic and leggings hadn't lasted two minutes, she was just in her undergarments now) and she shrieked and giggled. "Stop!" she gasped, but she was grinning so hard her cheeks were starting to ache.

His tickling turned into gentle caresses, and he moved to bury his face in the curve between her neck and shoulder. "Katara, we fail."

"Why is that? I think…we're pretty successful. Yeah."

"It's just…I don't even know what's happening right now. Your hair smells nice. No, but anyway, I just know that this is the second time in the past twenty four hours that we have attempted to have sexual intercourse but have failed."

"_Sexual intercourse_?" Katara then broke out into side clutching laughter.

Zuko looked genuinely confused. "What?"

"Why so formal Fire Lord?"

He pulled back and blinked down at her, still confused, before it finally seemed to click and he broke out into a wide smile. "But 'fucking' sounds dirty though!"

She snorted before propping herself up on her elbow and walking her fingers along the hard planes of his abdomen. "There's nothing wrong with being dirty sometimes. In fact a mud bath can be refreshing! But that's not the point though. I mean, if you start the dirty talk out slow and work your way up it can be very…tantalizing!"

"But it makes me laugh."

"Right now everything is making you laugh!"

"You're laughing too!"

She giggled. "No no no, but it's so easy! Like…Zuko, you have really talented fingers."

"That's not even that dirty. That's like baby talk. You say that to a baby and it wouldn't even be scandalous."

"Zuko, your fingers are really talented. How do you reply?"

"I thank you, obviously."

"Zuko!"

"Okay okay okay…If you think my fingers are talented you should see what I can do with my…with my…di—"

He snorted, flipped to his other side and promptly fell off the bed. He laid there for a moment before he stood up and looked over at Katara, who was roaring with laughter.

His eyes flicked casually over her form and he smiled with contentment. "We're going to be happy, aren't we?" he called to her softly.

She calmed down before sitting up and giving him a serious if not all-knowing expression. "Yes. Yes we are."

-Thirty seven minutes later-

Zuko jolted awake out of the impromptu nap he was taking with Katara. "Damn you Uncle, you still haven't given me back my crown!"


End file.
